


All My Hopes and Dreams Are Threaded Through You

by zarry3 (Jeri_1116)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, F/M, Family Drama, M/M, Past Perrie Edwards/Zayn Malik
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-25 07:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4951234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeri_1116/pseuds/zarry3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry's always been there for Zayn, no matter what the reason.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All My Hopes and Dreams Are Threaded Through You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [malikstyles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/malikstyles/gifts).



> Okay so this was one of the prompts: Zayn is a uni student with a kid and Harry is his best friend. When Zayn realizes he can't take care of his child alone he asks for Harry's help. Cue them being really domestic and cute and slowly fall in love.
> 
> This was last minute because the fic I was working on had a mishap. But, I tried my best and I hope you like it.

 

 

Harry's pretty sure he's made a mistake. He should have put Remy in her crib, put her in her crib and stuck to that decision. But she was crying. In fact she was crying like someone was killing her. Harry had a paper due, but again someone was killing Remy and that simply would _not_ do. So now Remy's on his chest knocked out, fist pushed into her mouth while drool spreads everywhere. It’s rather difficult to write a paper like this, but it won't be for long. Zayn will be home soon and then he will take her. He'll probably chew Harry out first for not sticking to the crib plan, but knowing Zayn he'll wait till Harry's finished his paper- its Monday already after six and it's due Wednesday at noon. “I can do it" he whispers..... "Zayn will be here soon." He sighs and lifts his laptop from his legs with his one free hand and puts in on the nearest flat surface. His other hand comes up and rubs circles into Remy's back. Remy’s seven months and pretty much can sleep on her own, but she’s a baby so sometimes things don’t go as planned hence the sleeping on Harry’s chest instead of in her crib. It’s safer on Harry’s chest, probably comfier too. Babies are smart. He can’t get shit done, but it is what it is. He’ll deal later. Harry snuggles further into the couch they’re laid up on and drifts off to sleep.

****

Harry wakes with a start in the dark, his hands automatically patting down his chest when he realizes Remy isn't there. He looks around groggily in the dark and then gets up quickly like his life depends on it. He almost trips as he moves and looks down to see a blanket that he hadn't noticed before laying at his feet. _Zayn._

He shakes his head a little trying to fully wake and heads down the hallway.

Harry knocks softly on Zayn's door and waits for the soft come in that always follows and pushes the door open. Zayn is at his desk hunched over a book "got a paper due, trying to catch up." He doesn't look up when he says it. Harry's use to it. Harry yawns and looks over at the playpen pushed up against Zayn's wall. Remy's there sitting up with her pacifier in her mouth, eyes searching the room like she'll miss something.

"I'm too tired to cook....pizza?" He crawls onto Zayn's bed and burrows his head into a pillow.

"I can make something, just give me a sec."

“Zayn its-”

"I know what time it is Haz." Zayn finally looks up and over at Harry. “But you need to eat, I know you haven't.”

Harry smiles sheepishly. Their schedules are a mess. “That _is_ why I said pizza, I know I need to.”

“I’ll make something…. just give me a second” Zayn swings back around in his chair and looks down at his book.

“Zayn”

“One second.” Zayn doesn’t move though, his lips moving softly as he reads the book in his hands. He almost looks asleep, but Harry knows better.

“Zayn, just let me order a pizza” Harry sounds exasperated.

Zayn looks up again cracking a little smile. “But I can make something, no need to spend money, especially when it could go to something useful like the light bill, or whatever. I’ll be done in a few minutes and then I’ll make you something. Okay?” Zayn looks back down at his book.

“How about chicken fettuccine? That’s easy.” Harry says ignoring Zayn. “I mean since you don’t want me to waste money.”

Zayn slowly looks up and turns to Harry. He’s not smiling though. “When you moved in, to help me that didn’t mean you had to work yourself to death.” Zayn looks so serious. “I said I’ve got it.” His words sound final.

Harry looks shocked “Zee I-”

“I’ll make dinner.” Zayn cuts him off. “Just give me ten minutes. Go finish your paper.” Zayn looks back down at his book. It goes silent for a moment with Harry looking over at Zayn like he’s done something wrong and doesn’t know how to fix it.

“Heard from Perrie?” Harry says instead. Because they are not about to argue over who makes dinner, it’s stupid and in the end they’ll both still be hungry with no compromise in sight.

Zayn grunts doesn’t take his eyes off his book “Nope.” It’s all he says.

“Zayn….”

“If she doesn’t want to see her daughter I can’t make her.” He looks over at Harry again and shrugs “what do you want me to say?”

Harry frowns and gets off the bed. He heads over to Remy “I’m gonna make dinner.”

“Harry-”

“Chicken fettuccine” he says ignoring Zayn. He picks up Remy and heads for the door.

“Harry, you have a paper, you don’t have time-”

“And I will finish. Don’t I always?” He’s standing in front of Zayn, Remy on his hip. He’s pointedly staring at Zayn daring him to deny it.

Zayn rolls his eyes “you do.” He looks exhausted is the thing, Harry notices. Harry smiles though and decides against mentioning it.

“See?” He says instead. Remy’s playing with his hair yanking on it like its ripcord, Harry’s head being pulled down to her angle. “So don’t worry. Okay?”

Harry starts to play with Remy, playfully biting her fingers. “Fine” Zayn says watching them.

Harry takes his attention away from Remy to look at him. “So you going to let me fix dinner?” It’s almost nine o’clock and they should all be getting ready for bed, not worried about what’s to eat. But alas Remy’s wide awake and they do need to eat.

“I” Zayn sighs “I guess.”

Harry doesn’t wait to see if Zayn has anything else to say he just leaves, Remy on his hip a smile on his lips. He’ll ignore the fact that Zayn carries the same smile.

******

“Smells good.” Zayn shows up standing beside Harry at the stove about forty minutes later, arm around his waist, fingers spread wide on Harry’s hip. Harry looks over at him eyes wide, body a little tense. If Zayn notices he doesn’t act as if he does. If anything his grip gets tighter. “Looks good too” Zayn says before pushing up for a kiss to the cheek.

Harry blinks a few times, feels the white hot burn on his skin. “Thanks” he says not looking up from the food.

Remy babbles loudly from her car seat perched atop the kitchen table and Zayn’s hand drops from Harry’s waist as he focuses all his attention on his daughter kicking her feet widely where she sits. “You’re still up you little stinker. If Harry would let you fall asleep on your own…..” Zayn teases as he looks back at Harry.

“She wouldn’t stop crying" Harry whines.”

Zayn looks back over at Remy. “Is that right? You wouldn’t stop crying, you wouldn’t give Uncle Harry a break?”

“Be right back” Harry says as he watches Zayn wander over to Remy catching her feet in his hands kissing loudly at the soles of her feet. “You were being a brat,” Zayn continues to kiss at her feet and revel in the sounds of her little giggles. “Yes you were you were being a little stinker.”

Harry barely makes it to the bathroom before he’s leaning over taking in deeps breaths, hands braced on his knees like he really can’t breathe. "Get it together Styles."

You see Harry’s been in love with Zayn since their first year of Jr. High School. It’s a problem. But it’s also something he can usually control. He’d also like to say it’s dimmed a little, but it hasn’t. Harry’s just good at hiding. But Zayn’s so touchy feely. It was fine when they lived separately, but now they live together, practically under each other. So yeah, it’s a problem. A huge problem.

On the other hand you see Harry can only blame himself. Perrie had left and Zayn was left alone with Remy. He needed help with the other bills and half the rent she had left him with. As Zayn’s best friend he really had no choice, no matter how many times Zayn had told him no- that he had it covered. Harry wouldn’t hear it though. His best friend since five was in a bind. A bind that all the adults in their lives said was of his own making and that Zayn would have to deal with the consequences his self. So you see Harry didn’t have a choice he was going to have Zayn’s back no matter what.

Never mind those pesky feelings that he couldn’t seem to assuage. Eventually they’d go away. They would have to. Harry had at least hoped.

So yeah, he’d moved out of the apartment he shared with Liam and Louis and moved in with Zayn almost a week after Perrie had left. He sees the irony, he does- leaving his friends in a bind of their own. But they seemed to understand. It wasn’t like he was moving on up, he was going from having his own room to sleeping on a couch. But anything for Zayn.

There’s a knock on the bathroom door and Harry’s head shoots up. “Harry, you okay?” Zayn sounds worried, really worried.

Harry takes a deep breath and opens the door a wide smile on his face. “Yeah, why?”

Zayn looks curious “I mean if you’re feeling sick you can have the bed, you know I can sleep on the couch.”

Harry’s shaking his head before Zayn can finish the sentence “no need.”

“Haz-”

“I’m good Zayn. Promise.”

Zayn doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t want to argue. “We should eat, then get some sleep.” Harry just nods and brushes past him. “About your paper…..” Zayn says as they enter the kitchen.

“Zayn.”

Zayn raises his hands, eyes looking innocent and wide “I’m just saying.”

Harry rolls his eyes “I’ll get it done, don’t worry.”

“I’m not”

“Are to.”

“Am not.”

“Whatever.” Harry picks up Remy and places her in his lap as he takes a seat at the kitchen table “just eat and shut up.”  
Zayn just smiles.

*******

“She’s a cutie, how many months?” Harry smiles softly at the waitress taking his order as he places Remy’s car seat on the counter.

He leans into the car seat blowing raspberries into Remy’s stomach before looking up and saying “seven months.”

“She’s so precious. You’re a lucky guy, cute little daughter like that and all.”

“Oh, no. Nnno, she’s not mine.” Harry runs his hand through the dark curls on Remy’s head and smiles down at her. “She’s my favorite person though. Most favorite person in the whole world. Aren’t you? Yes you are. The bestest, yes you are.” He’s still smiling at Remy like they share a secret and his smile widens a bit “well besides…..” Harry stops talking then, remembers where he’s at and looks up at the waitress.

“Are you okay sir?”

“Yeah, I should probably order right?” He looks up at the menu on the wall completely ignoring the look on the waitresses face. “Ahhh, let me get 1 large with 3 creams and 2 sugars. And 1 large black 2 sugars.” He reaches in his pocket for his wallet. “That second one’s for this one’s dad.” Harry looks through the glass window of the shop. “He should be here any minute, he’s coming from a class and I need to get to one in about…" He looks at his watch “I got a little under an hour.” He’s a little jumpy now and he doesn’t know why he feels the need to explain anything to a perfect stranger. The waitress herself looks a little confused, but nonetheless she starts on the coffees choosing to ignore the weird behavior Harry’s displaying.

Harry’s grateful. Truly.

*******

“How’d it go?”

Harry looks up over the rim of his coffee. He seems lost. “With what?”

Zayn rolls his eyes. “Your _ethics_ paper, it was due today. Remember at noon? Please tell me you finished.” Zayn looks panicked. “I don’t want my complicated life interfering with yours. It wou-”

“Zayn.”

“It wouldn’t be right I-”

“Zayn!”

Zayn stops at the tone of Harry’s voice “Jesus Christ! Don’t have a heart attack on me.”

“This isn’t funny Harry.”

Harry sighs. “No one said it was.” He leans over and kisses Remy’s forehead. “I got to go, got about 15 minutes to get to class.” He stands up from the table, takes one last pull from his cup of coffee. “See you tonight.”

“Harry.”

“Knocked it out the park……” He looks Zayn dead in the eye “I always do, because I know I have to.” Harry sighs. “Look, I know I’m not as organized as you and sometimes I can get a little scatter brained.” Harry looks to the ceiling “and I definitely have a hard time sticking to your plan on how to take care of Remy, but-”

“ _Harry_.” Zayn sounds out of breath and wounded.

“Let’s not forgot that you know me.” Harry says with a self-deprecating smile. “So, yeah, I guess maybe you should be worried.”

“Harry, I didn’t mean to-”

“To what? Insult me?”

Zayn leans back hard in his chair like he’s been smacked. That doesn’t stop Harry though. “Don’t forget that I want to be here….. Helping you. And last I checked I was doing pretty well under pressure, so get off my back. Alright? Because like you, I can handle myself.” Zayn doesn’t know what to say or maybe he does and just doesn’t know how to start. “I gotta go.”

Zayn nods. “Okay” Harry turns to leave and Zayn starts to dig into his bag, pulling out a book and highlighter in the process.

“Oh and Zayn?” Harry’s at the door now, gripping the handle tight, his bag hanging from his shoulder. Zayn looks up, book in hand, already flipping through pages a question in his eyes, brow furrowed. Harry watches him for a second, eyes blinking slowly” no one’s forcing me to be here.”

“Harry -I”

“Stop treating me like I don’t know what I’m doing.” He looks angry. Harry hates being angry and Zayn knows that. “Look” he sighs “I’ll be home after class.” Harry doesn’t give Zayn a chance to respond he leaves before Zayn can even really process anything.

*****

 

_“I got an extra ticket to see Drake in concert this Saturday night.” Zayn clears his throat and avoids looking at Harry as they both drop down on one of the school yard benches they usually chill on after school._  


_"What happened to Rebecca?” Harry’s eyebrow is cocked, head tilted to the side waiting for an answer. He knows he’ll probably have to drag it out of Zayn anyway._  


_Zayn shrugs his shoulders. “Nothing, we just decided to….” He shrugs his shoulders again and decides not to finish his sentence and he still won’t look at Harry._

_Harry sighs “what did you do?” He doesn’t sound accusing, Harry just knows his best friend._

_Zayn puts his hand to his chest “why would you assume I’ve done something?” Harry just looks at him. Zayn rolls his eyes “she may have gotten it in her head we were exclusive.” Harry just blinks “what?!”_

_“Zayn….” Harry closes his eyes he can only shake his head. “Who did she catch you with?” Harry’s not stupid._  
_It’s silent for a bit and Zayn still won’t look Harry directly in the eye. “Rebecca was a really nice girl, why-”_

_“Hey, I’m 17. I can’t be tied down, she got too clingy.” Zayn pulls a single cigarette from his front jacket pocket and lifts it to his mouth. “Beside….” Harry’s staring at him. “Only clingy person I like is you.”_

_“Oh, ha, ha, ha real funny.” He pushes Zayn hard and then scoots closer to him on the bench, watching as Zayn laughs and rights himself. “Anyway that’s tomorrow Zayn and I’m supposed to go to a Mumford & Sons concert with Nick.” Zayn makes a face. “But I could cancel.”_

_Zayn smiles. “You don’t have to do that babe…. not if you really don’t want to.” Zayn makes a face “I know Drake is not your thing, so-”_  


_"Yeah, I know.” Harry lays his head on Zayn’s shoulder “but you don’t want to go alone.”_

_Zayn lays his head atop Harry’s “I could find someone.”_

_Harry laughs softly “Zayn, you don’t really like anyone but me and Liam. And since Liam is vacationing with his family that leaves only me.”_

_Zayn smacks Harry’s arm lightly and moves away. “Don’t say it like that babe.”_

_“What did I say?” Harry looks confused and moves back into Zayn’s space._

_Zayn makes room and puts his arm back around Harry’s waist. “Like….” he starts. “Like you know you’re not my fallback right?"_

_“Zayn come on.”_

_“You’re never my fallback choice Harry.” Harry just looks at him “I like hanging with you.”_

_Harry’s eyes get huge as he looks at Zayn. “Would you hang with me at a Mumford & Sons concert?”_

_Zayn’s eyes widen. “I- I mean if you wanted me to… Then yeah, I would.” Harry smiles and lays his head back on Zayn’s shoulder. “Yyyou don’t- you don’t want me to do you?”_

_Harry can hear the shutter in Zayn’s voice and can’t help but laugh. “No Zayn, you don’t have to.” He looks up at Zayn. “Nick can take Cara or whoever.” He shrugs his shoulders “who cares, I got a Drake concert to go to.”_  


_"Harry-”_  


_"Zayn, would you stop, you know I’d do anything for you.”_  


_"Yeah?” Zayn’ gives a slow burner smile._

_Harry rolls his eyes “shut it! You know I would.”_

_“_ _Harry-”_  


_"You don’t want to go alone, so I got you.”_  


_“Harry-”_  


_“Pick you up at sixish?”_

_Zayn can only smile and look away. “So wait….” He looks back at Harry “I’m the girl in this scenario?” He needs to make a joke it feels too deep._

_Harry laughs again “Since you don’t have a ride, then yes….. Yes you are.” He gives Zayn a loud smacking kiss on the cheek. “Gotta go, gotta be at the bakery in twenty minutes.” Harry gets up swings his book bag over his shoulder “see you tomorrow at six?” Harry waits expectantly._

_“Harry-”_

_“Zayn.” Harry falls back down beside Zayn on the bench_ _“you’re my best friend.” Harry’s eyes are huge as he looks at Zayn “I’d do anything for you.” Harry leans in closer like he has a secret “even if you are a dick” he whispers._

_“Hey!” Harry jumps up and away and starts to laugh at the look on Zayn’s face. “Takes one to know one.”_

_“Whatever.” Harry runs his hands through his hair and then shakes it out. He grabs the strap on his bag tight. “Anyway I really have to go, so tomorrow at six?”_

_Zayn just smiles. “Yep, tomorrow at six babe, I’ll buy the food.”_  


_"You better.”_

 

Zayn hadn’t thought about that memory for a while and he also remembers vividly that he and Harry had fun at the Drake concert the following day. Harry doesn’t really enjoy rap, or more like it’s not his favorite but that night he loved it. Zayn knows it was something else now, something else that made Harry smile and laugh like a loon that night. He’s known for a while what that is, but Zayn’s always been dense. He’s book smart, but good Lord he’s slow on the uptake with everything else. Friends just don’t move in with you and live on your couch to help out. Harry’s something more and Zayn’s known that for a while. Or at least for the last five months Harry’s lived with him he’s noticed, which is also a shame. They’ve known each since age five- Harry having fell into him after being pushed by a bigger kid on the playground. Zayn really should have caught on a lot sooner.

_I’d do anything for you_. Harry’s always said that, always said it so freely. Zayn wonders if Harry understands the weight those words carry. Zayn thinks he does. Harry, if anything is very self-aware.

Zayn’s pulled from his thoughts when his phone goes off. He looks at the screen and sees it’s his mother. He also sees the time. It’s seven pm and Harry should have been home hours ago. And as for his mother he doesn’t want to talk to her, it always turns into an argument. Zayn’s too tired for an argument. He’s already twisted up from the misunderstanding with Harry from earlier. He’s not prepared for anything else. He wants to turn the phone off, but Harry might call, so that’s a no go. He really needs to speak to Harry. Harry who’s always been there for him. Harry who he….

Remy starts to giggle in her play pen and Zayn’s face lights up as he walks over to her. “You’re up? I bet you’re hungry? Yes you are, my little chubby bunny.”

Zayn’s headed to the kitchen when he hears the keys jingling in the door. He knows it’s Harry and that they should talk. _“Remy first”_ he thinks before continuing towards the kitchen.

He hears Harry’s footsteps coming closer as he digs around in the fridge. Harry makes a loud sniffing noise as he enters the kitchen “brought Chinese.” Zayn looks up from the fridge and over at Harry as Harry brings the bag up to show to Zayn. “I know it’s late, but I figured you’d still want it.” Harry looks jumpy, like he’s ready for a fight that he doesn’t want to happen and really isn’t prepared for. He’s leaning against the wall bag held firmly in hand looking so tense. Zayn hates it.

Remy’s holding her bottle firmly in her hand drinking from it like her life depends on it; her eyes almost crossed as she looks at it between her fingers. Whatever’s happening between Harry and Zayn she’s oblivious to it. Zayn’s grateful for that, he suspects Harry is too.

The thing is Harry and Zayn don’t fight. They may have disagreements, little misunderstandings, but they never fight. “Thought you’d be home hours ago?” Zayn says watching how jittery Harry is.

“Ummm. I just… you know after today, I thought we needed some space. So I picked up a few hours at the bakery. Barbara was happy for it too. She’s having a tough time perfecting these apple crumb spice muffins she’s been on about.”

“Muffins?” Zayn says with disbelief.

Harry shrugs. “I just- I didn’t want there to be any tension between us, so I went to work. Okay?”

Zayn closes the fridge. “Okay, but since when has there ever been any tension between us?” Zayn’s watching Harry closely. Harry won’t look him directly in the face and it looks like his grip on the bag of food gets tighter. “What you’d get?” Zayn says as he walks towards Harry and takes the bag from him. He doesn’t move away though. He’s sort of crowding Harry, giving him no chance of moving. “What’d you get?” He repeats looking up at Harry.

Harry’s kind of dazed as he watches Zayn’s movements. “Your fave” he finally whispers looking down at Zayn. “…..and a couple of the muffins I made.”

“You know me so well.” Zayn’s smiling up at him.

Harry swallows thickly, “got some bananas and custard for Rem too.” Zayn still hasn’t backed away. In the background Remy’s babbling some nonsense neither of them will ever be able to decipher. Harry’s still looking down at Zayn “has Rem eaten yet?”

Zayn slowly shakes his head “just had her bottle is all.”

Harry’s breathing heavy. “There’s some blended peas and brown rice in the cabinet.” He doesn’t even know how he’s forming words, but he inhales harshly as he looks down at Zayn and says “she should probably have that before the custard and bananas I brought her.”

Zayn slowly backs away “we should talk, but yes Remy needs to eat.” He places the bag Harry brought in onto the counter. Harry’s pressed up against the wall scared to move and he doesn’t say anything Zayn’s eyes are still trained on him. “Later” Zayn says and turns away from Harry looking into the cabinets. Zayn doesn’t say anything else and Harry moves away from the wall and fetches plates from the cabinets for him and Zayn while Zayn feeds Remy her food.

Harry grabs the bag “I’ll…. I’ll heat this up.”

Nothing else is spoken and Harry’s head is spinning.

*****

“Hey” Zayn watches as Harry comes out of the bathroom, you’ve been in there a while.”

Harry fumbles not expecting to see Zayn on the couch, and because he doesn’t know what to say he says the wrong thing “your mother called me, said you’re not answering your phone.” He can see as Zayn’s face falls.

Zayn turns back around on the couch and reaches for the remote. Harry stands behind him awkwardly. “You’re gonna have to speak to her eventually.” Zayn still doesn’t say anything, he just flips through channels. “Maybe she wants to see Remy?”

Zayn sighs “don’t you take Remy to see her Harry? So she’s not lacking in that department.”

_“Zayn.”_ Harry moves around the couch and sits close to him, the tension from earlier gone. “Come on, you know she wants to see you.” Harry’s hand spreads wide high on Zayn’s thigh and Zayn looks up at him. Harry moves his hand like it’s been burned.

 

Zayn frowns “don’t” he whispers. He reaches for Harry’s hand and places it back on his thigh. “I don’t want to talk about her right now.” Zayn closes his eyes, his chest expanding hard.

Harry squeezes Zayn’s thigh hoping to calm him down and choosing to ignore the new development between them. “She’s your mother Zayn, don’t shut her out.”

Zayn’s eyes shoot open and he pulls away from Harry. “she shut me out first.” He looks wild, his hands going to his hair gripping the strands. “She turned me away, I made a mistake.” His eye are like saucers. “I tried to fix it! I would’ve married Perrie, but she…” Zayn shakes his head, it’s getting too deep and this was not how the conversation was supposed to go. “Remy’s sleeping we can’t…. not now. Okay?” Harry’s quiet on the couch, biting his lip painfully. He nods his head though.

Zayn’s looking down at the carpet now. “What would you have done if I had married her?” Zayn’s still looking at the floor.

“What?”

He looks up then “you heard me.”

Harry’s looking at him, shaking his head “Zayn, I don’t-”

“Harry I know.” They’re staring at each other Zayn’s look one of wonderment and a little calculating, Harry’s frightening.

Harry looks a little dazed, he can feel the tears starting to spring to his eyes _“Zayn.”_ He says it on an exhale, his heart pounding. “Please” he begs closing his eyes, tears falling down his cheeks.

“What would you have done?” Zayn sounds like he’s begging too. Harry looks down, he’s trying to control the way his heart is racing, beating so hard it feels like it’s trying to escape his chest cavity. “What would you have done?” Zayn repeats?

“I don’t know” Harry whispers. He won’t look up, he can’t look up.

“Harry, what would you have done?”

Harry looks up “I don’t know!” He yells. He slaps a hand over his mouth and looks toward the bedroom, like he’s committed a crime. He looks back at Zayn eyes wide “I’m sorry I….” Harry gets up “this was a mistake I thought…. I thought I could do- this was stupid.”

“No” Zayn says and Harry looks at him “you’re not stupid, I am.”

“Zayn-”

“I don’t regret Perrie.” He closes his eyes for a moment and then opens them up steadying all his attention on Harry “I mean regretting her, means regretting Remy and I don’t, I could never regret her. I just wish, I-”

“I should leave.”

“Do you want to leave?” Harry immediately shakes his head. “Okay.” Zayn inhales and lets it go. He’s gonna go for it, he needs to know. “Harry, do you love me?”

“Zayn, you know I do.”

“No Harry” Zayn’s standing in his personal space now “you know what I mean. Do you love me?” Harry watches him “Harry.” Harry closes his eyes and slowly nods his head. Zayn wraps him up in a hug, his face pressing into Harry’s neck. “How long?” He breathes. Harry doesn’t say anything. “That long huh?” And Harry nods against him, his hands coming up fisting the back of Zayn’s shirt.

Zayn pulls away, grabs Harry by the hand “come on let’s get some sleep.” Harry doesn’t pull away but there’s a question in his eyes “we’ll talk in the morning. Promise.” Zayn says.

Harry gets in bed first, his hand reaching out in the dark searching so he can climb in. Zayn follows crowding behind him, face pressed into the back of Harry’s neck, his arm instantly going around Harry’s waist, fingers spreading out over his stomach. “Zayn, do you lo-”

“Yeah, I do” he whispers not wanting to wake Remy, warm puffs of breath hitting Harry’s neck. Harry pulls away and turns around.

“How long?” He whispers back. Harry watches as several emotions move across Zayn’s face before a smile settles on his lips.

“Remember when you agreed to go to the Drake concert with me?” Zayn can see the exact moment Harry recalls the memory. The look on Harry’s face screams _that long?_  “Yeah, well look who’s talking?” Zayn can’t see in the dark but he’s sure Harry’s blushing. “Look Haz, I’m dense.” It’s all Zayn’s got but he’ll make up for lost time. “Need to sleep now, gotta be at the bookstore at ten.” Zayn reaches out and runs his thumb over Harry’s bottom lip. He can see the look in Harry’s eyes but there’s plenty of time for that. Right now sleep is what they should be doing. Zayn yawns then and says “could you take Remy to see her grandma tomorrow? I’m pretty sure that’s what the call was about.”

Harry wants to say more, he knows Zayn can’t hide forever, but instead he pushes into Zayn’s body, face pressed into Zayn’s neck “of course” he says. “You know I’d do anything for you.”

And Zayn smiles.

 

 

**End**


End file.
